Bismillah

 Today I fought with my sister, until now she's angry at me. After yelling at her, I did regret because I know she don't deserve it. I know too that I am deserved to be yelled at, but she didn't. I didn't pray Maghrib and Aisha. 

I thought I am already fine, but I realized that I am not totally. Its not that I despise myself in the past. I want to change my self, be a good, patience, understanding and helpful person. These past few days, I think I'm fine. I'm doing my daily chores, cleaning, washing, etc. But I don't think that's fine. Yesterday, I suddenly changed my mood, truthfully I don't think I changed it, it changed. I suddenly show my anger in front of my father and everyone. Astagfirullah. Just now, I felt like crying so hard, I know I'm hurting everyone inside, by my actions and words. I want to say sorry to my sister, and to my family. I maybe a bad daughter and sister in the past and maybe until now for others, but I am trying to change. I don't know if I am just a prideful person or coward to say sorry. To my father, whom I always yell and ignore, I hope and I don't know if you are going to forgive me, for my actions, and words, secretly, I always feel safe and happy when you're there knowing that you will do everything to protect us. To my sisters and brother, I am always trying to reach your languages but I can't, so I did create mine where you can't understand too forever. Mother, thanks for working so hard for us, I always wanted to replace you but you know I can't because I am not in the right age to go to office, I always feel worried about you, being away from us. Though I act strange when your there beside me. To my grandmother, I can assure you that I will tell you every meaning of every show you watch, forgiveness for sometimes I don't respond to your questions. To my aunt, thanks for helping father and mother to raise us all, I know that you have sacrifices some things to do so, I do appreciate. To my relatives and friends, you all do serve as one of my inspiration to finish studying and thanks for your smiles which makes me feel not alone. If people would appreciate and think what life is, it is beautiful. Just be content and happy with what you have. Life is shorter than most have thought, let's live and spend life wisely and purposely.And let’s pray for a beautiful world, a beautiful world I share with you all. Now Allah, I realized what I was missing by being far from you. 

         4JJI,  

I wanna thank You
I wanna thank you for all the things that you’ve done
You’ve done for me through all my years I’ve been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
And did you give me hope

O Allah, I wanna thank you
I wanna thank You for all the things that you’ve done
You’ve done for me through all my years I’ve been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
I wanna thank You for bringing me home

Alhamdulillah.


  Yours, 
  Muslim